Time for a suitable rant. I had a rant about comic relief on the night it aired to my close consorts, and apart from the satirical Facebook status, I never shared it with the world. Those from the UK will be very familiar with Comic Relief, as it's shoved in every aural orifice in the country. For those readers who are overseas and may or may not be familiar with the concept, here's a quick explanation from the 'About Us' section of http://www.comicrelief.com/
Comic Relief is a major charity based in the UK which strives to create a just world free from poverty – and we work 365 days a year to help that vision become a reality.
Our mission is to drive positive change through the power of entertainment.
Since we first set up shop 25 years ago, we’ve been doing three main things…
We raise millions of pounds through two big fundraising campaigns – Red Nose Day and Sport Relief. We spend that money in the best possible way to tackle the root causes of poverty and social injustice. We use the power of our brand to raise awareness of the issues that we care most about. Over the years we’ve inspired a lot of people who don’t normally ‘do’ charity to, well, do charity. The support we’ve had from so many friends has always blown us away – and still does today.
The main show that falls on Red Nose Day occurs every two years. Celebrities and comedians gather to encourage people to donate money to Comic Relief.
Just before we start with the flaming, here's a little fact to keep things a little balanced. This year Comic Relief raised £74 million (rounded down) for charities across the globe. Good effort guys.
Now let's get started with the list. My personal top ten rages against Red Nose Day.
10. The Third World Still Isn't Fixed - First of all let me explain why this is bottom of the list. An old fashioned way of thinking was that despite the efforts of Comic Relief, the third world is still in dire crisis. The reason this is number ten is because Comic Relief caught onto this way of thinking and started showing 'success stories' to help people feel better about the donation. Fair play. This point is still on my list though however as, in essence, it's still true. The third world is still a mess.
9. Feeding The World, Or At Least Your Conscience - Praise to everyone who donated. In all honesty though, if I have to hear the same phrase in 2013 that I have heard repeatedly this last month I will scream.
'I felt so sorry for the people on the video I had to donate.' Did you really not know this was going on before today? Although my other least favourite Red Nose Day phrase is worse.
'Comic Relief is so funny but they ruin it by putting in the sad videos.' I actually saw this as a Facebook status, and banged my head on a wall.
8. Appealing To The Working Class - Obvious enough. People in the UK who care tend to be of working class and have little money, but still donate. Those who have enough money to make a real difference, do not donate. There are exceptions of course, but the whole event is aimed at mainstream working class Britain.
7. Killing Off Shows - Yup. Comedy shows are often ressurected after they have ended, in order to make an amazingly funny one off episode. It usually fails. The Vicar of Dibley is a perfect example. The last ever episode was sort of touching and sweet, then it was brought back for comic relief and had a very unfunny episode involving Sting. Doctor Who seems to have a special episode every two years with different celebrities turning up.
6. The Bono Effect - Sometimes Joe Public gets a bit annoyed listening to rich celebrities asking him/her to donate, while they sit on a pile of gold.
5. Catchphrases - We get it. The main characters catchphrase is going to be used by a celebrity instead. Hilarious.
4. Celebrities Pushing Their Own Products - Thank you Gordon Ramsay. For every pot of your sauce we bought, you donated x amount to Comic Relief. Same goes for Walkers and the comedians who pushed them. If a company wants to really donate, how about offering to make absolutely no profit from your campaign?
Short interlude - Before I get to my big three I just want to say that another pet hate that didn't reach the top ten is the red nose itself. Stop showing me pictures of Lenny Henry with a starving African child wearing a novelty red nose. Will that red nose cure his hunger? No.
Okay here goes the big three pet hates. The main reason I no longer watch Comic Relief.
3. Ricky Gervais - If anyone caught Ricky Gervais' 'trip to Africa' that aired, which was hilariously funny, will know what I mean. The comedian apparently went on a trip to Africa, met some locals, put on the waterworks and touched the nation. A few seconds afterwards he was interrupted by the word 'CUT' and it was unveiled that he was in a studio. The short film went on with other celebrities getting involved and it was very controversial and very funny, but opened the nations eyes in some ways. Can we really trust these videos again after Ricky Gervais? Nicely done Mr. Gervais, I salute you.
2. Tony Blair - Catherine Tate met Tony Blair in one years comedy video. As mentioned earlier, the popular catchphrase 'Am I Bovvered!?' was turned on Catherine's character by Tony Blair himself. I must admit at the time I thought it was pretty funny. But let's look at it again. This is a man who controversially took Britain to war against the voice of the public. To many he is considered to be guilty of war crimes as much as Saddam for certain undercover actions during the war itself. Now he suddenly appears on Red Nose Day and tries to win the hearts of the nation.
What next? Derren Brown in a beyond the grave Q + A with Saddam Hussain. Doctor Who travelling through time to find Bin Laden? Or maybe they'll just make another Comic Relief Does The Apprentice, featuring Colonel Gaddafi.
And now for my number one.
1. Capitalism - That's right, capitalism. The route of the world's problems in third world countries lie in the political struggle throughout. Why have a country like the UK, who has many global companies raping the third world for cheap labour and resouces, donate millions to making it better. Keeping strength up in the sweatshops? And the charity work is good. But good isn't enough. You cannot build a sustainable village in a poor country if the local government will just wade in with their guns and take control. Many charities refuse to be political, and claim to just 'want to help' the third world. Well without political influence I'm afraid that this will be a never ending battle.
By all means donate to Comic Relief, I'm sure they help make thousands of lives better every couple of years. If you want to make a real difference though, get political and help change the world. Otherwise you will only be feeling guilty and donating again in two years time.
